"Now my heart was beating........... I was a sex fiend of a little girl, but I had usually just been looking, fantasizing, and masturbating when I got home.........now I was plotting, planning: An escapade, an affair, a seduction.... jousissance erotique!...whoo whoo!"His family, my family, Rachel; there or not there; how in the world was I going to do this? The safest, sexiest, randiest place in North Hollywood: the library.Bruce and I agreed to get together at the local branch of the North Hollywood Library to plan our project and our presentation. Since I had gotten his note, we had been friendly, but a little tense, both waiting for the other to initiate the next step in this little vals d'mour we were doing.Bruce brought everything to the library. I brought all my texts and notes for the project............and more of the porn I had gotten from my friend..........this stuff was so nasty, I don't know, you might get busted for it in France...now! I was attracted, repelled by. "Confess to me another time you tookthe initiative in some naughty deed."The memory instantly pops into my mind. "I joined the panty-of-the-monthclub," I admitted."The what?" my therapist laughs."The panty-of-the-month club," I repeat. "I saw it in one of mommy'sCosmo magazines. Often, when mommy was out of the house, I'd sneak intoher bedroom and look in Cosmo at the pretty outfits on the models. Atthe back of the issue was an ad for a mail order company. For an annualfee, they send you a sexy, new panty every month. I tore the coupon outof the magazine and just dreamed about it for months. I was too scaredto actually send it in, but it was all I could think about. They showedsome examples in the ad. I can still recall the ad: The latest fashionsfrom London and Paris. The sexiest materials, original designs, and thenaughtiest styles. Don't you deserve to slip into exquisite luxury?"I couldn't stand it anymore. One day I went to the bank and got a moneyorder. It was two.
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